Adolescent and puppy love can put one through a lot of wishful thinking. It makes you want to be the extra-ordinary person to the one you love, ‘a super hero’ seem the best words that describe the roles most boys want to play to that little girl they long for her company and the beam of her smile that discloses beautiful dentition always. In my own case, it was my first year in secondary school. There was a smaller girl named Shira, who was a year or two younger than myself and exceedingly beautiful, very friendly and always taking her studies seriously. She wore the crown for the most beautiful girl in the school and took home most awards for the best students in several subjects including English Language and Mathematics. My mind continued to swell with the heap of her feelings; I will lay down on my bed in the evening hours during bed time fantasizing about her, imagining myself as the heroes in most of the Bollywood, Hollywood and action movies I had watched earlier, flying with her in helicopters, walking in hands as we climbed mountains with lush vegetations picking and exchanging roses as we sang our way to the tops. It was overwhelming playing those roles in imaginary scenes; at times, it extended my sleeping beyond the normal 7:00 am, giving mum an extra task in waking me up for school the next day. Shira was a star those days, everyone wanted to be her friend including fellow girls. During break time, gifts of snacks were always pouring on her from all corners and she took them thanking those who gave them to her. Distributing these items to those who could not afford it was also part of what she did; she was mild and very kind.
My emotions for her grew so high and I couldn’t help it anymore but to express it to her, it was always terrible for me to do so anytime I saw her, she was always in the company of many people and noticing me less, even when I normally stood from distance staring at her with my heart pounding hard and my head rid of the things I had planned hard to tell her. After failed attempts of talking to her severally, I resolved to write a letter which went thus:
“Dear Shira,
I don’t know how to start
But I love you dearly
And always jealous when I see other boys around you
My birthday is coming soon
And the best gift I have being praying for is you
I want you to be my girlfriend
Goodbye “
I wrote this letter during the weekend and kept it in a beautiful white envelope, hoping for Monday to come, I was anxious and longing for the weekdays to enable me give her the letter but when the week finally came and I stood face to face with Shira, the fear and nervousness couldn’t make me to bring out the letter. Weeks passed by and the letter was still with me in my school bag. I carried it until one weekend, my dad had demanded to see my books for his usual performance evaluation, and he did that almost every weekend. As he brought out the books one after the other commenting and advising, he opened one of the books and the envelope fell out. I felt like a wind had blown away clothes off my body in the market place, he took it and handed the letter to me as he continued to look through the books. I felt like one rescued from the clutch of a wild beast. He finished and was about handing back my books when he noticed a sign of love after the letter “T” at the top left corner of the envelope signifying the word “To”, he requested to see the letter, I prayed for the ground to swallow me. He ordered me to sit down after reading the letter and went thus:
“Liking a girl is not wrong, having a girlfriend is not wrong too but what most people do with girlfriend is what bothers me. Don’t have sex until you are married; learn to appreciate a girl beyond her beauty and body.”
When he finally released me to go, instead of the feeling of shame that enveloped me at first, I felt enlightened like I had added two more years to my age and my height slightly pulled up. With that, my fear was removed and I felt stronger, ready to face Shira and express my feelings.
I went to school the following Monday a bit late, a deliberate act to make sure everyone was seated in his/her class. On entering the school, I went straight to Shira’s class with the letter in hand and gave it to her asking to see her during the break time with non of the previous fears I had. During the break time, she came and we talked a great deal discussing everything including my experience with dad. She agreed to be my girlfriend on the condition that I take her seriously and never to cheat on her, I accepted because I had already seen everything I wanted in her, we became the talk of the school, did almost everything together, went to the same university and now happily married with kids.
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